I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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