Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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