Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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