i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
