Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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