fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
