1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
