my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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