so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
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i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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