Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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