She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
