Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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