So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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