I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
