I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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