Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
