I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
People in love make me want to vomit
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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