apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
