i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
