I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
