no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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