She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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