I never want to see another naked old woman again.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
