this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
