You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
sarcasm needs its own font
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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