Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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