The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My underwear smells like fireworks.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
