I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
