You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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