We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
