Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
