oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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