areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
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