Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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