i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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