If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
