i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
