I must be too annoying 4 u.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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