I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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