ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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