i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
