His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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