I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
