New low: just hacked my moms facebook
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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