is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
