He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
