I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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