If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
