sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
