I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
