Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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