I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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