a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
