He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
