Ambien. No doubt about it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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