Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Randomize
